MHM Magazine

hair and dragged her out of the cave. The difference again is the subtlety of the bullying. Whether it’s financial, emotional, physical or all of these factors, I discovered a common thread was the difficulty in walking away. It’s almost easier to stay and battle on, particularly where there were children involved. Again there was almost a shame in admitting abuse had taken place. What surprised me here were colleagues who I’d known for many years and thought were in good relationships, who told me their gruelling stories. The bottom line is that very few people have someone they feel they can trust to open up to and feel supported by. Going to therapy in this country still carries a stigma, which hopefully this book may help disappear. Workplace bullying Several key issues came out of my research here. The main one being that human resources is there for the employer not the employee, who generally felt pretty hopeless when it came to reporting any bullying incidents. The other factor being simple economics - if you’re lucky enough to have a job, you must shut up and carry on rather than make any waves. Social media bullying As social media and AI grow each day, so their effect on people’s lives, especially teens becomes part of this phenomenon. So many young people in particular told me that even though they were aware of the damage social media can inflict, they couldn’t stop themselves going online – sometimes up to seven hours a day. This impacts their lives not just when it comes to interacting with those they know, but being exposed to what is seen as the perfect life, with the perfect people, which they simply can’t aspire to. They then see themselves as less and this is often a fast track to depression, but that as they say is another whole story – perhaps my next book… Be kind And what about the bully? Where and when does bullying begin? For me, this can be any time between birth and death, caused by imitation or circumstance. In the case of a child are they just replicating what they see at home? In the workplace will they seem weak if they don’t take a firm stance, particular for women bosses? There are many scenarios and very few answers here. Perhaps what we need now more than ever is simply a reminder to be kind. Setting a good example with a simple ‘please and thank you’ to supermarket staff, waiting staff at restaurants, the cleaner at the office. Anyone and everyone we meet on a daily basis. Showing empathy and understanding goes a long way towards a better, happier society. BIG BULLY – An epidemic of unkindness (Bookstorm) is available at all good book stores. References available on request. Marion Scher Author of Big Bully: An Epidemic of Unkindness Due to a printing error in Volume 10 Issue 4, this article has been reprinted. 2687BigBullyCover designFINAL 14mmSpinePATHS.indd 1 2023/05/03 14:19 32 | MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS | 2023 | Issue 5 MHM