MHM Magazine

Issue 5 | 2024 | MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS | 25 MHM I wanted to do something a little different and kick off this article with a spoken-word poem by Patrick Roche entitled “21”. It’s always resonated with me as a microcosm of the damage done to a family by alcohol abuse. 21. My father is run over by a car. He is passed out in the road with a blood alcohol content four times the legal limit. I do not cry. Four months later, the nurses lose his pulse, and I wonder whose life flashed before his eyes. Rewinding VHS tapes, old home videos. 19. I haven't brought a friend home in four years. 18. My mother sips the word "divorce". Her mouth curls at the taste like it burns going down. 17. I start doing homework at Starbucks. I have more meaningful conversations with the barista, than with my family. 16. I wait for Christmas Eve. My brother and I usually exchange gifts to one another early This year, he and my father exchange blows. My mother doesn't go to mass. 15. I come up with the theory that my father started drinking again because maybe he found out I'm gay. Like if he could make everything else blurry, maybe somehow I'd look straight. 15. My mother cleans up his vomit in the middle of the night and cooks breakfast in the morning like she hasn't lost her appetite. 15. I blame myself. 15. My brother blames everyone else. 15. My mother blames the dog. 15. Super Bowl Sunday. My father bursts through the door like an avalanche, picking up speed and debris as he falls. Banisters, coffee tables, picture frames; tumbling, stumbling. I find his AA chip on the kitchen counter. 14. My father's been sober for 10, maybe 11, years? I just know, we don't even think about it anymore. 11. Mom tells me Daddy's "meetings" are for AA. She asks if I know what that means. I don't. I nod anyway. 10. My parents never drink wine at family gatherings. All my other aunts and uncles do. I get distracted by the TV and forget to ask why. 6. I want to be Spider-Man. Or my dad. They're kinda the same. 3. I have a nightmare. The recurring one about Ursula from The Little By Christopher Kemp Clinical Psychologist Bryanston, Gauteng chrisK@ccpsychology.co.za UNRAVELLING THE FAMILY FABRIC: THE PROFOUND IMPACT OF ALCOHOL ABUSE ON FAMILY DYNAMICS MHM | 2024 | Volume 11 | Issue 5 | Unravelling the family fabric: The profound impact of alcohol abuse on family dynamics MHM