MHM Magazine

Issue 2 | 2025 | MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS | 1 MHM The title of my new book says it all. The reason this took almost twice as long to write as my other books on mental health issues is also in the name – men and mental health. Finding men, particularly prominent sports, entertainment and business personalities took far longer than I had foreseen. But without people, such as Olympic swimmer Chad le Clos and Springbok and Lions coach, Swys de Bruyn, former Springbok Robbie Kempson, and former Welsh international rugby player, Rhys Thomas, celebrities such as David Kramer, Eugene Khosa and Alex Jay, the message wouldn’t have been so powerful. I wanted men to say wow, if those guys have come forward to talk about their mental health issues, then why can’t I. The book also contains stories by ‘ordinary’ South African men and prominent businessmen – all with one thing in common – at one time in their lives they had mental health issues and didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. When you look at the statistic, which we have previously quoted in MHM, that according to the WHO men are five times likely to take their own lives than women and then the statistic that shows that only 10% of the clients a psychologist sees are men – something is very wrong. Naturally it all boils down to stigma, coupled with the fact that it’s inbred in South African men in particular to never let any weakness show, be a ‘manne’ at all times. Several interviewees told me that their fathers had told them ‘men don’t cry’ or worse – ‘toughen up my boy’. Chad le Clos told me how whilst training in Germany, one night alone in his hotel room he came close to a horrific realisation, that life no longer held any place for him and the only way to stop his misery and pain was to end his life. He said, “I knew I needed help fast. But somehow I’d been fighting these feelings. Having grown up considering myself a warrior, which as a sportsman and competitor is important, I guess my ego prevented me from seeing what was happening to me, until I began to understand just what this was.” When it came to the Gods of South African sport, rugby players, they all said that although every day is a fight to stay on top, be chosen in the squad, be taken off the bench, play a good game, there is very rarely anyone to help them through the mental anguish of this position. Today teams like the English rugby side acknowledge these issues and encourage their players to speak out about it. Rugby legend Swys de Bruyn said when he was coming up through the ranks of rugby he was told if someone bullies you “you just suck it up – if they hurt you, you hit them back.” Although he knew he was having mental health issues, he also knew that if anyone in the rugby world found out it would be the end of his career. “The trouble is we’re way too proud to admit this kind of thing happens – so we stay quiet. South African rugby needs to understand that stress, anxiety and depression are an illness – it doesn’t mean you’re crazy!” In many ways this situation is changing. To a certain degree the stigma surrounding mental health is slowly being broken down, and we’re even seeing men starting support groups, but this needs to change faster, before the suicide rate goes even higher. Many years ago I wrote an in-depth article for ‘Men’s Health Magazine’ called ‘When is it more than just a bad day’. This was the first time a South African magazine had published an article specifically aimed at men and mental health. When the magazine was published SADAG’s phones rang off the hook – and for the next three weeks they had to bring in extra counsellors to deal with the calls. Today SADAG does have calls from men of all cultures who also do want to speak out, so the landscape is improving. Naturally, as with all my books, I had great input frommany experienced mental health professionals and the help of SADAG in sourcing information and interviewees. Also without the sponsorship of Sun Pharma this book would never have happened. Hopefully the book and the subsequent media exposure will help start conversations around this vital topic and we’ll see more men come forward, unafraid to admit they need help and seek out therapy. Will this be my final book on this topic – no, I’ll keep going in my quest to break down the stigma around mental health – one topic at a time. MEN AND MENTAL HEALTH – SHATTERING THE SILENCE EDITORIAL Marion Scher Author and Media Trainer journo@icon.co.za