MHM Magazine

Issue 2 | 2021 | MENTALHEALTHMATTERS | 33 MHM free to do whatever we wanted without restrictions. People have also lost important milestones, such as holidays, weddings, graduations and celebrations with those we love. COMMON GRIEF RESPONSES We all deal with grief and loss in different ways, especially across different age groups but there are some common reactions to grief which we all tend to display at some point during the process. One of the most relatable ways of understanding the way that we deal with grief is the KÜbler-Ross Model of Loss. While this model speaks specifically to grief, it has often been attributed to understanding loss in other ways, which during this pandemic has been quite common. • Denial – A state of shock and disbelief where it’s difficult to accept the facts of the situation (“This can’t be true; It must be a mistake; It doesn’t feel real”) • Anger – It seems unfair this has happened to them or their family; some feel angry towards themselves and others • Bargaining – When people try to deal with the pain by imagining or hoping things could have been different (“If only…”) • Depression – Characterised by feelings of distress and sadness where most people start to deal with the reality of the situation • Acceptance – When people have learnt to deal with the reality of the situation and start to face life without what they have lost These stages are grief often don’t happen in sequence and people can go through each stage more than once and perhaps even a few at the same time. For example, when we’re faced with a funeral we often feel we’ve accepted the loss after we go through the day, however often anger and depression follow long after the formal goodbyes have occurred. Very often people go back into a state of shock and disbelief as well, wondering “Did this really happen? Are they really gone?” Many people also experience changes in habits such as sleeping and appetite; withdrawing and isolating from others as a way of coping; and experiencing feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. GRIEVING AND COPING WITH LOSS DURING A PANDEMIC During this time of Covid-19 our grief has been exacerbated by several factors. Many people have experienced multiple losses or know people who have also lost loved ones, which has been highly distressing and somewhat traumatic. We also have not been able to comfort each other like we usually would because of the restrictions, leaving many people grieving in isolation. Instances like this can lead to grief becoming prolonged or complicated, especially in the case of multiple losses. While grief is not a straightforward process where we work through the stages and move on, grief and loss during the pandemic has been more overwhelming and especially unforgiving. During this time, there are several things we can do to process our own grief as well as support others: • Connect and keep in touch with loved ones o Host virtual calls to check in on one another o Share memories with one another – such as stories, photos and letters o Hold virtual memorials where people can prepare a prayer, a reading or recite a poem • Create memories of those you have lost o Ask people to send memories, stories and photos you can use to create a memory book o Take part in a significant activity which will remind