MHM Magazine

Issue 5 | 2021 | MENTALHEALTHMATTERS | 47 MHM pressed memories and body mem- ories so intense that I sometimes thought I was reliving the abuse. I could feel their hands on my body, their lips on mine. It was incredibly scary, but from great pain comes great growth. This is a lesson I’ll cherish forever. I remembered the woman per- formed oral sex on a 5-year-old boy, the men that would molest me, the woman that raped me at 12 and worst of all the man that abused me from 13 to the age of 19. They all conspired indirectly to steal my childhood, to destroy my innocence. Fortunately, because of the bravery of 200 men in Ameri- ca, I was able to reclaim my life, to begin the arduous task of finding ‘Myself’ again. Soon after my recovery began I decided to start a support group for male survivors of sexual abuse. After all, if it was that difficult for me to recover, how hard must it be for other men to, especially if they don’t even perceive it as a problem, as I hadn’t for all those years. In 2011, MatrixMen was born Today I run the only support group in South Africa that supports male survivors of sexual abuse, and we recently opened our first men’s mental health wellness cen- tre, a one of a kind in Africa. We are working hard to dispel the myths that surround male survivors, and when you realise that 44% of all men in this country have suffered some form of sexual abuse by age 18, you’ll begin to comprehend the enormity of the problem in our country. While the rest of the world works on the 1 in 6 stat, in South Africa we know that every year 10% of all boys will suf- fer sexual abuse. That works out to about 365 000 boys. Oddly enough, even though we’ve known this fact since the re- search’s release in 2008, there are still no facilities that cater openly for boys and male survivors. Understanding ACES (Adverse Childhood Experiences) and the impacts it has on the adult survi- vor of abuse, physicians would, I’d hope, pay more attention to these phenomena. Research shows that the adver- sity we experience as a child can affect how our stress response functions, leading to long-term changes in our brains and bodies and leading to health problems as an adult. Experiencing 4 or more ACEs is associated with signifi- cantly increased risk for 7 out of 10 leading adult causes of death, including heart disease, stroke, cancer, COPD, diabetes, Alzhei- mer’s and suicide. (Centre for Youth Wellness.) Today I manage my depression with healthy outlets like walking and exercise, meditation, healthy diet and grounding techniques throughout the day. There are ways of mitigating the effects of adverse childhood experiences. My hope is that more health pro- fessionals would become aware of the phenomenon of male survivors in South Africa and would inform patients to seek professional help and support If you would like to know more about the effects of sexual abuse on men, feel free to contact me, I will gladly assist you in finding out more. MatrixMen runs groups for male victims of abuse, offers free coun- selling to men at their centre and online. We also support male vic- tims of Gender Based Violence and men who are struggling through intensely abusive divorces. Email martin at martin@matrixmen.org References available upon request