MHM Magazine

Issue 6 | 2021 | MENTALHEALTHMATTERS | 37 MHM Our journey with ADHD started when my daughter was about 8 months old. She was one of a twin pair, and an extremely premature baby. She chose me to be her mom and I knew that I would eventually get my act into gear and take control of this sinking ship. We did it together - through endless nights of crying and asking why and how? I recall my beautiful precious little girl and I attending our very first family gathering. After less than 30 minutes sitting amongst everyone, we had to immediately remove ourselves from the crowd and noise. We ended up in a room on our own, only to find out later we’d been labelled as unsociable and distant. We always avoided crowds and shopping malls, and immediately turned back home when a slight indication from her showed us that today was “not a good day.” My precious girl was also later diagnosed by her OT with SID (Sensory Integration Disorder). This coupled with her high anxiety and developmental delay made our journey extremely challenging. I have an amazing husband – my best friend – and even though we’re total opposites we make a dynamite team. When I’m weak, he’s strong and when I’m strong, he’s weak. We are the “A-Team”. We soon realised that this is our journey and we need to enjoy it, no matter how tough it gets. My husband and I are very private and we made a decision to keep her full diagnosis to ourselves. We felt we could contain this, as our parents and family members had very limited information. It was our choice. WHATDOES ITFEEL LIKE HAVINGA CHILD WITH ADHD? An overwhelming feeling of not being in control. I kept asking myself, 'how I was to ensure that this ship never sinks?' when the storm approaches. I was a first-time mom with no experience and my biggest concern was how I would captain this ship. I had to toughen up, dry the tears and take control. I’d never signed up for this. My mom’s words echoed daily that God will send help. This journey would have been impossible without the power of prayer and God at the forefront of our ship. HE is our anchor, our ship captain. We leaned on our belief system to help us journey through. The experience humbled us and brought us to our knees daily. I also come from a good, support- ive family. Eventually we opened up to a selective few and shared our journey with them. They became our prayer warriors. I think when we could not carry on they had lifted us up in prayer and we felt stronger. My personal daily prayer was that God will surround us with a strong team of professionals that will guide and help us. He came through. ADHD parents are strong. As parents of a kid with ADHD we can only be strong for so long, because sometimes we need support and understanding too. We definitely need to stop for a while just to catch our breath in order to find the strength to continue. Strength for us and most importantly strength for our children. My best advice to any parent with a child with challenges is you have to have a strong professional support system – it’s paramount. “ You may encounter many defeats but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can come out of it ” - Maya Angelou - PARENTING A CHILD WITH ADHD By a loving mother LIVING WITH...