MHM Magazine

38 | MENTALHEALTHMATTERS | Issue 6 | 2021 MHM You need the medical guidance and professionals to chaperone you. You can’t do this on your own. I met so many amazing therapists and specialist doctors on the journey. Fast forward 15 years later, I look back and reflect and can’t thank my family, supportive friends and the professionals that came to our aide. We also have the most amazing paediatric neurologist who has always guided us though every hurdle and every stage on this journey. My daughter has been her patient since she was eight months old. I read a poem once that resonated so deeply with me and I always found this too was our story. It tells of a mom and how she explains her journey of motherhood. She has an autistic son and she starts the poem: WELCOME TO HOLLAND BY EMILY PERL KINGSLEY – When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like you’re planning a vacation to Italy. You’re all excited. You get a whole bunch of guidebooks, you learn a few phrases so you can get around, and then it comes time to pack your bags and head for the airport. Only when you land, the stewardess says, “WELCOME TO HOLLAND.” You look at one another in disbelief and shock, saying, “HOLLAND? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I SIGNED UP FOR ITALY.” But they explain that there’s been a change of plan, that you’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. “BUT I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOLLAND!” you say. ‘I DON’T WANT TO STAY!” But stay, you do. You go out and buy some new guidebooks, you learn some new phrases, and you meet people you never knew existed. The important thing is that you’re not in a bad place filled with despair. You’re simply in a different place than you had planned. It’s slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy, but after you’ve been there a little while and you have a chance to catch your breath, you begin to discover that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. Holland has Rembrandt’s. But everyone else you know is busy coming and going from Italy. They’re all bragging about what a great time they had there, and for the rest of your life, you’ll say, “YES, THAT’S WHAT I HAD PLANNED.” The pain of that will never go away. You have to accept that pain, because the loss of that dream, the loss of that plan, is a very, very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to go to Italy, you will never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland. (My story continues) We arrived in Holland… Our daughter started playschool at age two and a half and it wasn’t the right fit. Then we discovered the most amazing playschool. It’s a one-stop institute where you drop your kid off at school and they have a strong team of qualified therapists including a physiotherapist, speech therapist, an educational psychologist and exceptionally well trained remedial teachers all based at the school. Throughout the day incorporated into the school curriculum, a therapist would fetch your kid from class and carry out therapy. It was convenient and worked exceptionally well. My daughter flourished. Later we discovered our daughter had been diagnosed with dyspraxia. This is a developmental coordination disorder marked by clumsiness in otherwise healthy children. Children experience muscular problems with coordination, abnormality walking, flaccid muscles or muscle weaknesses, developmental learning disability or a speech delay. Also very common is anxiety. I quickly learnt to further educate myself because this was my only control tool. It was my guiding map to navigate this voyage. I learnt a lot from the therapists and again, God always came through. I found myself surrounded by amazing professionals and all they wanted to do was help and guide and support my beautiful little girl to reach her full potential. My daughter has a fighting spirit. She is a true lioness and never gives up. Her resilience and strong personality fuels her to combat and work through all life’s challenges – she amazes me and I am so proud of her. Many times on this journey the destination changed. But I was always reminded that when the going gets tough the tough get going. It was a roller coaster ride but we had been buckled in and knew no matter what, we’re here to weather the storm and survive. Prayer and hope always anchored us through and God always showed up when we least expected. Just like rainbow always appears after the storm. We had many rainbow moments. We stopped and paused and reflected on how far we’d come. This too is so important. We reminded our precious girl of how special she was and how proud she makes us daily. Every parenting book teaches you how to be a hands on mom - however, there is no manuscript that prepares you for a road that has detours and potholes. “The kid who needs the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways.” – Russell Barkley. I know my daughter is destined for such greatness. Sincerely, mom of a kid that is fearfully and wonderfully made!