MHM Magazine

42 | MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS | Issu3 2 | 2022 MHM Six years ago, I was diagnosed with FND (Functional Neurological Disorder). At that time, it was still called Conversion Disorder. I’m not much for labels, but in the ER that day, I accepted it fully. I have been ‘sickly’ for most of my adolescent and adult life and had to resign from work. This was after I ended up working for about two weeks a month and spending the rest of my time recovering. At this stage, chronic pain and fatigue together with other complications took up most of my energy. So when I experienced the paralysis for the first time, it was from my neck down. Fearing that it might be a stroke, the ambulance services rushed me to the closest hospital. Once in the ER, the doctor ruled out all possibilities including a stroke and infection. His professional opinion at the time was that it could be a neurological disorder. A neurologist was called to confirm the diagnosis. I was also assured by the nurse that this condition is very real. For the first time in a long time, I felt understood. I was then referred to a psychiatrist at the same hospital, whom I had to see the next day. By the time I left the ER that evening, my legs were still paralysed. My visit with the psychiatrist proved wise. She was knowledgeable and took down an extensive medical, psychological, and family history of me and how it affected my behavioural patterns. As we spoke, I started to experience speechlessness, tremors and catatonic episodes, which continued at home after my visit with her. It was clear that my FND is as a result of Chronic PTSD (C-PTSD), depression and an underlying anxiety disorder because of my long-term childhood abuse and neglect. In order for her to perform a more meticulous examination, I was admitted to a mental health clinic on a 21 day programme. This was necessary because my symptoms prior to admission worsened. The catatonia became longer, the tremors and muscle spasms kicked in and I started having seizures. At the clinic, we had various mental health talks and activities together with creative release sessions and tension releasing massaging. My psychiatrist saw me once a day, where she reviewed my progress after psychotherapy, medications and any other required supplements (Vitamin D in particular). An EEG was also done, which came back normal. A psychologist helped me with establishing coping mechanisms. She also prepared me for what to do at home after being discharged. Arrangements were then made to see a trauma counsellor who specialises in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing). EMDR is especially helpful in treating patients with C-PTSD and PTSD in general. From this point onwards, 2016 into 2017, my symptoms had varying degrees of severity and duration. It was hard on me, my husband and my kids. It’s very difficult to find specialists with experience in FND. Our GP took over the medication monitoring while the psychotherapy and EMDR were covered by my trauma counsellor. For most of my journey, I have had to (and still do) draw on my own strength to find the relevant resources when I need it most. Recovery for me meant I first had to address my C-PTSD and the childhood traumas. It was hard and draining work but this reduced my FND symptoms tremendously. I can now identify and process the triggers associated with an FND episode. FUNCTIONAL NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER By Audrey Bart LIVING WITH...