MHM Magazine

36 | MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS | 2022 | Issue 6 MHM to highlight as being equally significant, a number of other aspects to the transitioning journey that don’t involve medical intervention, in their child’s journey to becoming their authentic selves. Different aspects to the transitioning journey parents should consider include: • Internal transition – a process of self-exploration, where the individual processes what triggers their gender dysphoria and considers how they’d like to look, what clothes they feel comfortable in, hairstyles, how they want their voice to sound and perhaps what name and pronouns they feel comfortable using. • Social transition – coming out, asking to go by a different name and/ or pronouns, dressing, grooming and speaking in a way that feels more congruent to their identity. • School transition - speaking to the principal and teachers about their gender identity and their particular needs, with the child’s consent. Requesting the child be referred to by their chosen name and/or pronouns and not previous name, (dead-named) especially in front of classmates and requesting they have access to appropriate bathroom facilities. • Legal transition – changing the child’s information regarding their gender and/or name on official documents and records, such as ID, passport and medical aid, which can assist in school transition too, as their academic record will then reflect their accurate name and ID number. • Physical transition – process of changing their body either temporarily or permanently, to align with their gender identity. ° Medical – what’s often most relevant in teens are puberty blockers or gender-affirming hormone therapy, which doctors would be able to explain extensively, including various other procedures people can undergo. ° Non-medical – temporary strategies to lessen dysphoria, which are especially helpful for adolescents whose bodies are starting to develop in ways incongruent to their gender identities. › Voice training – assistance from a professional to use their voice differently. › Hair removal – shaving, waxing and/ or laser hair removal. › Chest binding – binders and sports bras help flatten the chest. › Packing – packers, cups or balled-up socks to create a bulge in the groin. › Stuffing – padded bras/underwear or tissue to make the chest, hips or bottom look fuller. › Tucking – tucking the penis and/or scrotum to make the groin flatter. Engaging with all this information is a lot for parents to take in, which is why it’s helpful to empathise with how overwhelmed they may be feeling. Acknowledge just how much patience and understanding they’re having to draw on and validate what a significant difference it will make in the well-being of their child and their ongoing relationship, if they can: • Respect their child’s chosen name and pronouns otherwise they may feel as though their existence is being denied. • Educate themselves on transgender terms, issues and rights, so their child doesn’t have to constantly explain their existence to them. • Receive consent from their child when discussing their gender identity with others, in order to respect their privacy. • Advocate on behalf of their child and their needs (especially in school settings). • Not make assumptions about their child’s sexual orientation or how they should be acting/dressing and to not stereotype them or expect them to conform to certain gender norms. Assuming the child is the only one who needs therapy to process everything is a mistake. Parents who are struggling to navigate this should seek their own support from mental health professionals and to speak to other parents’ of transgender teens. Parents need their own therapeutic space to come to terms with these changes which can often involve a process of grieving, needing specialised support, making theirs and their child’s journey easier. References available on request.