MHM Magazine

Issue 6 | 2024 | MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS | 33 MHM By Stu Rayner Marketing KwaZulu-Natal stuey.rayner@gmail.com Life has a way of testing us, and for a long time, I was drowning in a current of self-doubt and anxiety. I’d become trapped in my own mind, shackled by obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and an ever-present weight of depression. My journey through these struggles has been marked by missteps, small victories, and revelations - none more powerful than the healing force I discovered through running. Growing up, I’d always felt the weight of expectations pressing down on me. Instead of embracing who I was, I tried to shape myself around societal standards, suppressing my true self. I over analysed, overthought, and became someone I hardly recognised, constantly haunted by feelings of inadequacy. My journey out of this darkness wasn’t immediate - it required therapy, support, and ultimately, a commitment to change. I owe a great deal to my therapist and life coach, who guided me toward a better understanding of myself and helped me rediscover my own worth. But the real turning point came when I discovered running. Running became my sanctuary, a way to silence the noise in my head. Each step was a chance to connect with the deeper parts of myself, a chance to heal. It wasn’t just exercise - it was therapy, a way to breathe through the pain, release the pent-up anxiety, and slowly build a stronger version of myself. And when I ran, I realised that I could find purpose not only in my own healing journey but in helping others as well. In July 2024, I set out on an endeavor that would push me to the limits - 11 marathons in 11 consecutive days. This challenge was not just about testing my endurance; it was a tribute to my cousin Rosa Carlyle Mitchell, a young woman who left us far too soon. Rosa, a vibrant spirit, tragically passed on her 21st birthday, and her loss created a void that no words could fill. The "Run for Rosa" initiative was born out of this loss, a way to honour her memory and to raise awareness about mental health. Running each marathon was my way of not only keeping Rosa’s memory alive but also of speaking out about mental health struggles, which are often hidden in silence. Starting in De Rust on Nelson Mandela Day and ending at Cape Town’s historic Kimberley Hotel, each day was a new test. Some mornings, I woke up feeling the physical toll; my legs felt like they were made of lead, and my mind questioned why I was doing this. There were moments of peace but also intense struggle - moments where I felt I couldn’t go on. But every mile I ran, I thought of Rosa and the many people facing their own mental health battles. I kept going, driven by the knowledge that these steps could bring awareness to a cause so close to my heart. One particular moment of reflection stayed with me throughout the run. In the movie Dead Poets Society, there’s a scene where Robin Williams character quotes Walt Whitman: “That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a THE HEALING POWER OF RUNNING: MY JOURNEY WITH RUN FOR ROSA LIVING WITH... MHM | 2024 | Volume 11 | Issue 6 | Living With MHM